What is wrong with me?

I don't know what's happening to me.. i have had a lot of mood swings lately and i self harm every night. once i got so hyper that i drank a load of wine and i went out for hours. i went out for so long that i arrived home at 12.30 when my mum found me walking through the streets and she gave me a lift home. While i was out i went to a park and i lied down on the ground (noone was their) and it was also dark and the gate was closed and i know it was closed because there was a cluth on the gate and it suddenly opened for no reason and i didnt see anyone and i got so scared so i screamed and ran. then i walked for 10 mins then lied down near the road waiting for a car to run me over and i kept screaming because i felt so hyper. i do have a lot of downs as well i cut myself every night so i can continue living. I hate myself i hate the way i look i cant do anything right i just wish i was dead. i dont mean to be attention seeking here but i just wanted to see what you guys have to say. im 14 if that helps and im a guy anyway thanks for reading this even tho noone would and for wasting ur time on me