What a Welcome Back nightmare. What do I do now?

Avoid aggravation in the future - hire only BONDED and insured pet sitters - This woman doesn't not deserve your friendship - so there is no need to further aggravate yourself - write her off your X-mas card lists and other references. Do not expect "respect" - friends do not leave other persons property in this manner - esp. if they know when you'll be back! My final comment: with friends like these - you don't need enemies.